By Sept., 1986, we were in a beautiful, new, pristine house on 20 acres, and kids were launched and doing well personally and professionally. I was happily free to volunteer, garden, housekeep my woods, fields and streams, walk, quilt, hang out w. friends and family, and generally enjoy interests that I had neglected for decades.

Then a random thunderclap from an indifferent deity caught me head-on. Suddenly life dealt me several very heavy blows, the worst of which was losing my son, John, to a freak avalanche on Mt. Washington in Mar., 1996, when he was just shy of his 36 birthday. After that, breast cancer and a divorce after over two decades of marriage seemed very *ho-hum.*

The death of John almost defeated me.For details of his life and its ending, click on
John Wald
News, Harvard Gazette

My brother --snatched away himself by cancer in 1996 --was the one who understood what I needed in order to survive and comfort, however feebly, my daughter. Many family members and ex-friends were too scared or misguided to help me. Life-altering tragedies leave most non-affected people frightened, impotent and worried about themselves rather than the person who needs tending. I believe that I act now as a minor but useful counterbalance by emulating my brother and helping others w. grievous losses .

The death of a child, while almost unbearable, can enrich and change one for the better. I miss him every day, but my cancer, after 6+ years, is in remission, I am busy and productive and enjoy very much being single and autonomous for the first time in my life, in spite of a number of annoying but not life/threatening health problem.

My wonderful daughter, 38, is happily writing and editing for a social outreach program in Providence. Her long-term partner is a tenured assistant prof. of planetary geology at Brown. He teaches, does research and has been awarded a $17 million grant in order to develop an experiment to look for life on Mars on the next unmanned probe, c. 2005. I have a nice grandcat named Milo, who is not a very satisfactory substitute for the real thing. I yearn for a grandchild, and I keep in touch with my 3 stepsons.

My mother, at 89, is bereft w/o her boyfriend of over 20 years, wh æo died last summer at 94, having decided the time had come. Luckily, she is nearby in a staged-care community so that my sister and I can visit her easily and help out.

I have profound worries about the country and world.The policies of the present administration, who seem to be systematically leaching away the resources and future of the younger and yet-unborn generations, are of great concern to me. The health of the planet seems to be in enormous jeopardy. I hope that our generation's legacy is not chaos and anarchy,

After decades of careful financial planning, I feel much less secure than I did, say, 8 years ago.I have the usual concerns about my next and, I assume, last move. But I am happy to be here still, with many sorrows and regrets and also joys and pleasures.

I wish you, my dear classmates, few of the former and more of the latter. As my favorite poet Mary Oliver said, "Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"